Happy New Year and all that stuff! I think I've been hibernating -- lazy more like! Every day I think today I will get back to blogging. And then I consider what I have to say and a big 'nothing to write' figures heavily on my psyche.
But it's more a case of being unable to get away from what has really been on my mind, which is 'worry'. It seems that a lot of the bloggers I've been reading have also had the same sorts of thoughts -- all to do with aging, with energy levels, with matters of health and well-being. It's all well and good right now. No major health issues that haven't been more or less sorted so that I'm on an even keel. But the over-riding sense of the clock ticking is with me all the time. The days seem to rush by and at the end of them there is a sameness that is as gloomy as the weather has been.
I expect it started when visiting my mother last November. We had a lovely visit and we were both very happy to be together again -- but underlying the visit was the fact that my mother is waiting for death. Part of the problem is that most of her life revolved around being a wife and mother. Now the children are gone their own ways and my father died in 2005. She never learned to drive, which was a great disadvantage for her living in the country and so dependent on my father to get her to and fro. Fortunately, by the time he died they had both been living in the retirement home and had got used to being without a car. However, it also meant that she was not used to living her own life. Many lessons to be learned -- at least for me.
In the past few months two couples that I am very fond of have been facing similar problems. In both cases the women do not drive and have relied on their husbands. Now both husbands have had serious health issues and their wives are very distressed about the practicalities of how they could possible manage without their husbands. One actually bullied her husband into getting fit enough to drive because she is very lame and 'taxis cost the earth'!
Ho-hum! Tick-tock, tick-tock...